I’m so lonely .. I need a kiss and a hug right now ..

So, last Saturday I gone to the pc fair. It was soooooo crowded. Alright, it was so big, but least, actually there were more laptops than the computer parts. Damn them, they don’t put all the things together in a show room but put it from the 4th floor to the ground floor …since I need to buy the most value stuff, so I needed to compare the money of all these stuff. I walked walked and walked.. my legs almost broken . . damn it .. so many ppl. I was surprised that the price of all those stuff are actually .. cheap .. well some of them .. like you can buy a laptop with only 459 ringgit .. wth . .lol.. 10 ringgit for a pendrive .. ( well they raise the price like 48 ringgit per one on saturday ) and 40 ringgit for a webcam … geez christ .. lol lol. Anyway, I got the D-link switch with 58 ringgit, two 2 meter cables with 8 ringgit. I checked out the other places, they got the 2 meter cable with 5 ringgit per one. So, I am glad to get cheaper cable with same things. Then, I watched the movie ” When A Stranger Call ” .. man, it is the crappiest movie I ever saw. very very very crappy .. *sigh* wasted my money … then, when I go home, again, crowded. then rainned … me wet and i got a bit headache after that night .. .. sigh but luckly the switch works, or it seriously will be a very-misserable-day for me

so freakin stressed out.

i hate gimp why is it has to be so hard to use it? man i hate it to death. lets kill it

a lot of things happened lately. it is the first time that i really feel what is emptyness inside. i dont feel anything, just emptyness. really hope someone could stay with me, especially at this moment, when i really need someone to support me and cheer me up to be stronger.

peace out there

um yes they fought last night. kinda serious this time. well, aacatually i dont really want to talk about it. anyway they fight, wanted to divorce. oh well, i guess its better for them to divorce if they dont have love anymore. they both did something wrong but never want to admit it, only stubborn and stand on owns point.

alright today is 2nd day. he came back ealier. sat at the middle of the living, faced the kitchen, i know what hes trying to do. he t ries to give stress to mom, who works in the kitchen all day. well, i dont like how it feels. so i stayed in my room all the morning. he came into my room, yelled at me to ask me to get up. alright i will wake up then. then he asked sis to call me go downstairs. he asked why i stayed at my room and didnt want to come down. i said i dont really want to go downstairs. i know he wants to put his anger on me cause he and mom are in some kinda ” cold-war “. he has no one to yell at, so me was the victim. i gone back into my room again, then he asked sis to call me down again. asked me why i still want to be in my room, why i didnt want to go learn cooking. wth. i know how to cook ok. he never know that. and he said ” why dont you learn cook, go come downstairs, go to the kitchen and see how SHE cooks. how you gonna cook after she gone ” ok wtf. he is trying to use us, to make her feel bad. i hate that so much. why is he always want to use us? i though he was nice and so sad. we all pity him because mom acted like that. but why he wants to be such a jerk now? using us to make mom feel bad. tell sister that mom is bad and so on. why the hell he wants to do that? does he ever try to feel and understand our kids? does he ever know that it hurts the kids? if anyone tell me to help dad, respect him and so on i will say no. yes, he was good to us, he tries to give us better life, but not atm. not when he acts like that. i hate ppl like that. i told him straight just now, i hate ppl who use kids to make another feel bad. oh yeah and when i told him i’d rather stay at my room all day than seeing them fight and be such like that, he yelled at me asked me dont talk bullshit. well whatever. i dont like it anyway.

now hes gone back to work or somewhere i dont know. he proberly told everyone what mom did and so on. grandpa called today and scolded her and so on. he makes everyone stands on his side. and then when he got the supports, he starts to act like that. thats what i hate the most. im not gonna help anyone of them. heart broken. all i know that i love my 2 sisters and i will do no matter what to protect them. if they ever want to divorce, i will take my 2 sisters. not letting any of them to take my sisters away. they are not good parents.

no one you can rely on, only you can trust yourself.

my friends know i got problem. they all just not wanting to come and concern. fckin hell. why did i want to listen them to brag, tell their own stupid problems all night all day while they just walked away, pretend they never know it when i have problems. all you ppl go to hell.